ADHD kids, or spirited children, can be tenacious when it comes to getting what they want. Sometimes they can even become almost consumed by or fixated on it so much so they forget nearly everything else.

Spirited kids naturally play out their ideal scenario or outcome in their mind as if it has already happened. The challenge is they become so attached to it happening exactly that way. They have their heart set on it. Then, if it doesn’t, their expectations are shattered and they are often thrown off course emotionally.

There are some things you can do to help your child deal with disappointment and emotional upset in a smoother way:

Acknowledge your child’s feelings. For example, “Wow, that was really a bummer! I see how you could feel really let down about that.”

Allow your child to feel and express his or her feelings. Make a deal that for the next 5-10 minutes your child can talk or complain about the disappointment as long as he or she is not screaming, throwing a fit or hurting anyone. Then after the time is up you agree to move on and talk about something else. Your child can know it is OK to be bummed out about it, then let it go.

After the time is up, begin to focus on and talk about something positive, such as what else you have planned for the day; other things to look forward to or other parts of the day that turned our well or were positive. A simple way to trigger new thoughts is to use one of the following statements and fill in the blank:

Atleast . . .

OR

On the brighter side . . .

Then, engage in another activity that is fun, such as a game, listening to music, doing something for someone else, etc. to begin to shift the energy and focus from disappointment to an emotional state that is more uplifting.

Verbally give your child positive kudos for any movement toward handling his or her disappointment well and nuances of resilience he or she is showing.

Model handling your own disappointments in healthy ways, too. Talk about ways that you have bounced back from upsets.

Dealing positively with disappointment teaches perspective, resilience, gratitude and that your child is strong and capable to handle what comes his or her way. It also teaches your child how to be a powerful co-creator in his or her life, despite the disappointments.

Tagged as: ADHD Kids, co-creator, disappointment, emotional upset, Spiritual Parenting