Many people talk about how busy they are and not having enough time in their day. What if you could find more day (more richness, satisfaction and fulfillment) in your time?

Oftentimes, a frenzied pace takes over our days as we frantically attempt to squeeze work, chauffeuring children to various activities, grocery shopping, cooking and home maintenance into our lives. Simultaneously, we are fielding phone calls, text messages and emails as we juggle the lifestyle of a busy 21st-century parent.

Despite the vast array of time-saving devices throughout our modern homes (I can count four on the kitchen counter alone), we may feel our time is scarcer than ever before.

It seems that the more choices we encounter and the more options we view as available, the less free time we have. We have options that our great-grandparents could not have fathomed in their wildest dreams. We can travel around the world, learn a new language or study for a new career in the comfort of our homes, and update all 532 Facebook friends of our status as each new item is accomplished.

Paradoxically, the more options we have in our lives, the more frantic the pace of life becomes, because we feel a virtually addictive need to do more, to see more, to learn more. The fact remains that we are surrounded by a myriad of choices that can scatter our attention and drain our energy.

How can we slow down the frenzied pace of our lives within the society in which we live? Is it possible to stop and smell the roses every single day- not just during vacations?

A friend of mine, Ellen Braun, was recently telling me about her childhood friend’s mother, Michelle. Michelle used to sit on the couch and read or chat with Ellen and the other kids while an apple or blueberry pie invariably baked in her tidy kitchen nearby. Michelle’s house was spotless, yet Ellen never saw her clean. Michelle’s aura personified harmony, as she seemed to spend most of her time relaxing. Ellen was always in awe of Michelle and her home, which she noticed was so vastly different from her own. In Ellen’s childhood home everyone was constantly in a massive rush! Ellen wondered why Michelle was always so serene and had so much leisure time on her hands while everybody else complained about not having enough time.

Now, as an adult, Ellen can look back and decipher the secret of Michelle’s tranquil existence. After years of Ellen trying her hardest to be efficient, she finally figured out what Michelle knew, and learned how to apply that knowledge to her own life.

Ellen says the secret lies in the ability to make choices. I agree wholeheartedly!

Stephen Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families, states this concept as follows: “The key to being proactive is remembering that between stimulus and response there is a space. That space represents our choice— how we will choose to respond to any given situation, person, thought or event. Imagine a pause button between stimulus and response—a button you can engage to pause and think about what is the principle-based response to your given situation.”

Every single one of the hundreds of choices that present themselves to us on a daily basis includes that special “pause” button where we can choose our responses.

Michelle’s special secret was to choose the things she wanted to do (like whip up delicious, pies every afternoon) and to avoid all those other options that did not interest her.

Since discovering this secret to slowing down and enjoying a relaxed pace of life, Ellen takes a radically different approach to responding to outside requests for time and attention. Her first step is not to check her calendar, but rather to check her goals. She asks herself, “What are the primary things that I am attempting to accomplish or feel today, this week, this month?” Her choices then are determined by reviewing her goals.

What separates Ellen and Michelle from most of the harried, frenzied people in the world is their ability to recognize that of the thousands of choices we encounter each year, it is impossible to choose all of them. Saying yes to one activity automatically means saying no to another activity that is taking place simultaneously.

Having a multitude of choices is a blessing of our times, yet the blessing can turn into a curse for those that attempt to choose every option on the table. Just like eating every delicacy at the buffet is a sure recipe for a stomach ache. Equally important as choosing what we want to do, the goals we yearn to accomplish, is to choose which ones we are willing to leave by the wayside.

As a Mother, Michelle knew that she did not want to keep up to date viewing multiple TV shows, travel extensively, working herself to the bone in order to advance her career, nor enroll her children in multiple enrichment programs. She chose the activities that were important to her; creating a serene home, having homemade comforting food available for the family, and staying on top of the housework on a regular basis so that it never became actual work. Because she was able to forgo some subjects, Michelle serenely controlled the affairs in which she chose to immerse herself.

The lesson is: If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

We all have limited time, energy, and ability to focus. Sometimes we put tremendous pressure upon ourselves only because the choice is available. Money, cars, jewels and clothing can always be acquired. On the other hand, once time has passed, it can never be recouped.

Ellen shared with me an all-important question she uses as she’s slowed the pace of her life and learned to relax despite her busy schedule.

The question is: What would happen if I did not do this?

By asking this question, she told me it has helped her make peace with the idea of choosing not to accomplish certain things. Time is an irreplaceable resource; she decided she can no longer squander it because juice is on sale at the grocery store.

Ellen says, “Just because the sale on juice is taking place around the corner, or a new catalog has arrived in my mailbox, does not make it mandatory for me to use my time on these things.”

It comes as liberation to many busy parents to know that time belongs to us alone, and we are the sole determiners of its use.

You may discover that having more fulfilling experiences each day is more about what you take out of your life rather than putting more activities into it.

To learn how to eliminate unnecessary tasks, make your efforts count for ‘double duty’ and free up your time and energy to experience more ease and satisfaction, you may want to check out Ellen’s digital book, Creating Time: Time Management Tips & Tricks for Busy Parents: Creating an Abundance of Time for the People and Things We Value Most by visiting: http://bit.ly/baLI8H

Tagged as: energy drains, stress at home, time saving techniques, tranquility